Adult training in progress

Today’s youth will not have the opportunities we had when we were teenagers. With jobs being scarce and adults out of work teenager find it very hard to get their first job.  Teens will suffer because of this. There are many things a teenager learns on their first job, not just the job duties:

• ·         Time management
• ·         Responsibility
• ·         Financial decisions
• ·         Getting along with coworkers
• ·         How to relate to someone who is your boss
• ·         Transition into that adult they will become
• ·         Become more independent from their parents

My reasons on insisting my son get a part time job include the above list, but a few may be different than most moms of teenagers;

• ·         For social outlet
• ·         So he won’t isolate himself all summer
• ·         To learn how to talk to his peers
• ·         To help him become more outgoing
• ·         To be more accepted in his peer group

Maybe most moms want all of these for their teenager. I just know how mine is. He will sit in his room and play video games all summer long. I will have to make him leave the house. He doesn’t like to go places, doesn’t like crowds and won’t ask acquaintances for their phone number. He has one or two friends, but when they are busy he will sit alone for hours, even days. He says he likes it, but I know it is not good for him. So, this is why I am pushing for him to get a job, even one where he works 10 hours a week would help.

I will keep you all posted on his job search. He is getting better at filling out the applications, and going in by himself to ask about openings. He even had an interview, but wasn’t called back. At least it was an experience for him.  Hopefully he will be hired eventually, and  his adult training will begin.

Job Hunting

 

I decided to write more about getting a job. How difficult it is to try and explain the employers point of view verses a teenagers.......

My son had to go to the local mini golf place for a church function, so I yell out the car for him to get an application. I was thinking this would be a great place for him to work, fast paced and fun. Of course he forgets (ADHD), so I turn the car around and tell him to go in and ask for one.  We find out that he has to stay there and fill it out, or go online and fill one out.

I was curious so I went on line and looked at the application. It had 6 questions that I thought my son needed to see in advance so we could take about them. One particular question was the result of an argument between the two of us.

The questions was “What would be the most important thing to you about your job?” simple enough.  My son said to enjoy myself. I looked at him like he grew horns out of his head. “ Really? To have fun? Like an employer would hire someone who is looking to have fun.” I tell him “no, it is to make sure you have all of your work completed so no one else had to go behind you and do your job. “ He argues with me about this. Saying you have to enjoy your job. I tell him that an employer could care less if you are enjoying your job or not, they want their customers taken care of.  We continued to argue about this answer.  He didn’t see it as wanting to have fun, just that someone should enjoy their job or they shouldn’t be doing it.  

I tired to get him to see it my way, the way an employer would see it. He wanted nothing to do with my answer. So I guess I will let him answer however he does.  If he is hired, GREAT! But I think he will be passed over because of him not understanding what an employer is looking for.

Getting a Job

My son is trying to find a part time job. He has put in two applications at two different places. He started asking me, so do I just show up on, or will they call me.  Then says I am not sure what will happen. I wasn’t sure what he was talking about. So as usual I have to figure out the kind of questions to ask so I know what he means.

I ask, what will happen when? He says when I show up. Hmmmm not the right question.

I then ask what do you mean will they call you? He says to show up…again wrong question on my part

OK, so do you just show up for what? He says “to work”. Ahhhhhh I get it now. I have had enough experience with him to know what he means.

So I figured out that I have to explain to him in detail what happens when you fill out an application for a job.  I had to explain that you are filling out the application, but that doesn’t mean you have been hired.  The date you can start work is not your actual starting date. The boss (manager, owner) will call you and set up a time for you to come in for an interview. Then you will (or wont) be offered a position. If you are not called back after the interview, or even after handing in your application, you are not hired.

He says “So I took all of that time in filling out the application, and they still may not hire me?”  I say yes, this is true. There are many people looking for jobs, some have experience in the position you want to work. Bosses and owners want to hire the best person for the job.

So, he still has no job for the summer, but is still looking. These days a kid can’t go mow lawns, work as a bag boy or deliver the paper for extra money. There are adults who have families, or the elderly who are working those jobs. One reason I am not pushing for him to get a job is that I would have to drive him to and pick him up from any job he gets.  Of course he would have to pay for some of my gas….which he is not happy about.

One day he will be hired, and I may have to ask for training to go into detail and let him watch so he gets it.  He will be OK, and happy to even bring home 60$. YAY he can buy his own clothes!

EVERYONE is going to the beach!

So it is spring break and from what I hear from my son EVERYONE is at the beach. I look around and see people, my son’s friends, but EVERYONE went to the beach…. I’m just saying’ - no they didn’t.

We took our son out to dinner Fri. night and he sat and talked to a couple of kids he knew – I pointed out that they were not at the beach. I also pointed out that his two best friends were also not at the beach. I did feel bad, because I remember spring break and going to the beach when I was growing up. My 3 sisters and an assorted group of friends, my parents and I would all head to St. Augustine beach for the week.  

This time of year is difficult for my husband to get away from work.  The condo prices are jacked up so high. Then try going out to eat with 2 - 16 year olds while staying on a budget.  I say two because you know we will have to take a friend, no fun going to the beach alone.

So I devised a plan. I called my mother in law and said “Hey, how about entertaining your grandsons for a few days?”  She agreed, and said son agreed to go to Mimi’s house.  At least he can say he went out of town.  

I understand why he wants to go to the beach, be a part of the in crowd and be seen.  It’s what teenagers do.  Even if we did go, I am not the type of mom who just lets their kid go and not be with them.  I trust him, but not others.  He is not street smart and could be taken advantage of easily. This is something I am working on.  

Pickiness

It’s funny how my son is so picky about some things, and other things he could care less. One particular item that gives him an issue is his hair. He has inherited my hair, which is curly, wavy, thick and does what it wants most days.  He wants it to do what he wants, no slight wave at all. I have mentioned a flat iron to get the wave out in the front, he refuses to let me even try.  Also, when he was born he had two large lumps on the back of his hard near the top. Those are now cowlicks. If his hair is not combed in the right direction, or if it is cut too short his hair sticks up.

Every morning I hear him complaining in the mirror about his hair.  He has broken many a brush throwing them.  Like it’s the brushes fault his hair does what it wants. I have suggested he shave his head…..LOL

Another picky area is his sheets. They have to be exactly right. I have worked with him on learning how to make his sheets the way he wants them. He has a certain place they are to stop at near the top, and they are to be tucked in tight at the bottom. The only thing is you have to remake the bed every night because he is a restless sleeper and in the AM the sheets are pulled out and wrapped around him.

Teaching my son how to deal with his pickiness himself has been a challenge. He gets so frustrated and gives up and then I hear “MOOOOOM!!!!!! I NEED HELP!  One day he will get it, I hope……