Mission: Operation Home Front
Tuesday, February 14, 2012 at 01:19PM Assignment: Special Needs Agent ACEStrikeTeam
Terrain: Potentially Hostile
Difficulty: Moderate to Strenuous
Details of mission are as follows:
1. Complete workweek assignment of 40 + hours at Forward Work base, code name “Engine Shop”.
2. Proceed to Government Education Installation.
3. Retrieve Underling Unit 1.0 + Underling Unit 2.0
4. Take possession of said entities and deliver them safely to Second Stage Family Member of Advanced Age Installation, code name “Over the River & Thru the Woods”.
5. Return to Headquarters
6. Collect Supreme Commander, call sign “Lady Boss”.
7. Engage in tense negotiation with an attempt to extract pertinent data as to location of sustenance re-supply checkpoint, code name “Restaurant”.
8. Proceed with guarded optimism with an attempt to de-code the encrypted message that states “fine, whatever you want”.
9. Field call from OTRATTW, apparently Underling Unit 2.0 has sprung a leak from her tear duct. I advise Second Stage Family Member of Advanced Age Commanding Officer, call sign “Granny” that only fix to administer chocolate and follow with copious amounts of Sprite ASAP.
10. Return to task at hand and maneuver Mobile Command Unit, Cargo Class, code name “Big Daddy Truck” through obstacles both large and small.
11. Field call from Second Stage Family Member of Advanced Age, Maternal Section, call sign “Nana”. Attempt to explain direness of current situation concerning check points, half price sushi time allotments and movie show times. Nana is unfazed and continues transmitted data at a now rapid rate.
12. Field call from Second Stage Family Member, Maternal Section, Sibling Group, call sign “Tia Lori”. Rely transmitted data collected from Nana.
13. Field call from Second Stage Family Member, Maternal Section, Paternal Group, call sign “Papi”. Rely transmitted data collected from Nana and Tia Lori.
14. Field call from Nana. Rely transmitted data collected from Papi and Tia Lori.
15. Proceed to chow hall.
16. In rapid succession place order for chow, consume two pitchers water, iced and ask for payment ticket in span of seven minutes. A few tics off current mark.
17. Field call from Nana, content of message unknown due to muffled whsiper.
18. Field call from Granny, Underling 1.0 advised not to place video capturing device on edge of tub while attempting to bathe baby dolls. Hell hath no smell than that of green slime to collects in baby doll necks when submerged under water for extended period of time.
19. Enter Large Screen Entertainment Bunker, code name “Movie Theater”.
20. Miss previews.
21. Contents of movie unknown due to prolonged Worker Unit 1.0 blackout.
22. Field call from Nana, see above.
23. Arrive back at base camp.
24. Unable to continue due to extreme exhaustion, refer to line 21.
25. Lastly, end verbal communication with Nana, over and out.
Thus concludes Date Night. No wonder they only happen about twice a year.